Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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