pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize