Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
