question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
