found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
