Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
