there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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