your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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