What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I am available for nakedness
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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