His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
