You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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