so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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