The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
