I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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