I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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