just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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