Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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