dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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