dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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