I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
