I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?