he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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