Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Drake has all the answers
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
