the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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