If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
