I wish I could teleport
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well I just put wine in my tea
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize