It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
