You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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