She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
