I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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