the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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