Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
