I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
