I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
