You can't motorboat a personality
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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