I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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