Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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