Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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