I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dear god my vagina.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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