God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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