I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
