Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
