is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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