whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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