I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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