Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
its not stalking. its research.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
