Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.

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  (206): Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/didw
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (2031)
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  (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

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  (714): I think I am morally bankrupt http://tfl.nu/yusq
  Replies (29) Good night (2576) Bad night (789)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Take that integrity

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  (216): So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever. (1-216): Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment. (216): Take that integrity http://tfl.nu/eyzw
  Replies (48) Good night (3184) Bad night (797)
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  (909): View more from California

  I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it

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  (909): I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it http://tfl.nu/7yht
  Replies (40) Good night (1285) Bad night (9377)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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  (217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e
  Replies (26) Good night (7999) Bad night (1100)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.

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  (405): I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm. http://tfl.nu/yhbb
  Replies (58) Good night (3182) Bad night (613)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college

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  (401): im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college http://tfl.nu/hik3
  Replies (48) Good night (2269) Bad night (4137)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

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  (306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq
  Replies (85) Good night (3691) Bad night (40401)
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  (518): View more from New York

  in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

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  (518): in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility http://tfl.nu/vdpc
  Replies (8) Good night (3641) Bad night (881)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.

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  (304): Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh. http://tfl.nu/3wcj
  Replies (4) Good night (1966) Bad night (873)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?

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  (512): I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die? http://tfl.nu/tzmv
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (1641)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So. How about you can get tequila certified...

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  (478): So. How about you can get tequila certified... http://tfl.nu/1yln
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (527)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.

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  (843): As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed. http://tfl.nu/2ht0
  Replies (0) Good night (689) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.

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  (206): You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose. http://tfl.nu/ks8l
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (610)
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  (310): View more from California

  Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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  (310): Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent. http://tfl.nu/z8ey
  Replies (0) Good night (667) Bad night (329)

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