She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
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It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
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A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions