Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text