Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.

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  (530): 1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details. http://tfl.nu/vtyc
  Replies (34) Good night (2073) Bad night (632)
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  (212): View more from New York

  where am i from again

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  (212): where am i from again http://tfl.nu/9ocs
  Replies (6) Good night (3078) Bad night (692)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up

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  (972): He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/uv7z
  Replies (6) Good night (3453) Bad night (940)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

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  (336): We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her http://tfl.nu/niqc
  Replies (14) Good night (1568) Bad night (5601)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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  (832): The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left. http://tfl.nu/7tek
  Replies (22) Good night (1990) Bad night (10734)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'

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  (647): she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready' http://tfl.nu/8jmk
  Replies (17) Good night (3854) Bad night (1709)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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  (603): i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes. http://tfl.nu/r21u
  Replies (2) Good night (1776) Bad night (1028)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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  (715): She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee. http://tfl.nu/wutx
  Replies (7) Good night (1853) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.

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  (479): If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough. http://tfl.nu/qsaq
  Replies (12) Good night (3265) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought

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  (248): For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought http://tfl.nu/myue
  Replies (12) Good night (2859) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...

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  (651): It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart... http://tfl.nu/9gca
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"

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  (503): Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck" http://tfl.nu/2coz
  Replies (6) Good night (516) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.

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  (702): Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents. http://tfl.nu/6lkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security

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  (479): He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security http://tfl.nu/nae6
  Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits

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  (248): my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits http://tfl.nu/2i7i
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (85)

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