walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
