(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
