And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
