Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
