Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
