i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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