And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
