Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
